“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”~ Tecumseh
Wow! Read that a few times and see if you don’t feel like changing a few things in your life.
Note: There is actually a little bit more in the original teachings of Tecumseh, but I’ve removed a little in order to reduce it to essence of meaning for me. I did not change any words, just deleted a few lines.
Would you like to know how to be more confident? Of course you would… you are here right? At times, we all lack confidence, get scared, feel overwhelmed, and perhaps do not believe in ourselves. But there is good news! Confidence is one of those things that is completely under your control!
How to Be More Confident In 3 Simple Steps:
1. Realize that you have everything you need. I’m going to assume here that you aren’t trying to be confident that you can do something impossible for yourself… (for example, I would never tell you that you should have the confidence to jump off of a building and suddenly be able to fly… duh). Most people need to be more confident because they simply do not know how to believe in themselves. They just don’t believe they are fully equipped with the means to do whatever it is that they are seeking to accomplish. So, you first have to realize that you DO have everything you need.
For example, let’s say you lack the confidence to approach women. Do you not have legs? (ok, I know… some people actually don’t, but I’m sure you have a chair, or a phone, or someone to carry you?) Do you not have a tongue? Can you not speak? Is there someone holding you back from going (I mean physically)?
Yep, you are fully equipped to approach women. Oh… you want better communication skills? or you think you aren’t good looking enough? or maybe your job sucks? or maybe your clothes cheap? or maybe you have bad breath? or maybe you aren’t funny? Where does it end? You can keep these stories and excuses going all day, but I can tell you now that, while you may need to work on your communication skills or brush your teeth, you definitely have everything you need. Just stop making excuses and get over there and do it!
Oh and before you say, “I don’t have everything I need… I need a car to get to the bar to meet women”… or “I need more money so that I can buy her a drink if I talk to her”… or… Well then, confidence isn’t your problem… you just need to get a car or get a job, or whatever… Or hell, just change your plan, ride your bike there, take a cab, ride with a friend, and don’t buy her a drink… ask her to buy you one! Do that and you know you’re more confident! In other words, you don’t need to know how to be more confident, you need to know how to buy a car, or ride a bike, or get yourself some cheesy pickup lines. But confidence, isn’t your problem, having excuses is your problem.
2. Reject Rejection, It’s A Myth Anyway. Rejection very commonly comes up when talking to people about the root of their confidence problems. You need to realize that rejection is crap. It doesn’t really exist… forget about it, just decide to reject rejection… 🙂 It’s a myth anyway, so don’t believe in rejection. You just said, “huh, a myth…?” Yes, that’s what I said… a myth. If you want to be more confident, you need to know how to reject rejection.
Think about it this way: If you ask your boss for a day off and she says no, then you simply have exactly what you had before… you still have to work on Thursday. If you ask someone to go on a date and they say no, then you still get to stay home and play on the PlayStation on Saturday (unless you take advice in the next steps, and just keep asking).
Why get all bent out of shape about not having what you already didn’t have? Oh, your boss might think you are a slacker or rude, or ??? Maybe, but if you keep sitting around NOT asking, you’ll never know and you’ll definitely not get what you want. In fact, they might even think you are assertive, or that you take care of yourself, or that you are confident 🙂 … all good traits don’t you think?
So, forget about rejection… it doesn’t really exist. Forget it happened and move on…
3. Practice builds confidence. You probably already know this, but if you practice something you get better, right? So, practice doing whatever it is that is making you feel less than confident. Really? Is it that simple? Of course it is. Confidence is a mind game, not a physical task. Confidence is under your control. If you want to be more confident, you simply… well, have more confidence. 🙂 OK, I know its not quite that simple, is it? But its close.
One way to build more confidence is to practice. Not only the activity that you want to have more confidence in, but in reality you just need to practice… well, being more confident. Does that even make sense? Yes, I think it does. So, when you get nervous or anxious about asking for a day off, or for someone’s phone number, or for a raise, or about meeting new people, etc, etc… Just remember to do it anyway… and you’ll probably be rejected sometimes (but since rejection doesn’t really exist… 🙂 ), but every single time you try something new, or something you are less than confident about doing, you’ll be creating a healthier more confident you.
So, in summary… You DO have what you need, rejection doesn’t really exist (neither does failure, but that’s another story we’ll get to later), and the more you practice the more confident you’ll be, and the more successes you’ll experience. So, get out there and do something you’ve been afraid of until now. Just do it… OH>>> and please leave a comment below (let me know what you lack confidence in, if you tried what I said, if it makes sense, or if you think I’m full of crap, just let me know that too (I’m not afraid of rejection 🙂 ).
Think about it. Are you truly who you want to be? Are you doing what you want? Do you have the relationships you want? Are you the Christian you want to me? The Father, Mother, Friend, Employee? Take a hard look at yourself. If you aren’t who you want to be, there is no one else to blame. You are the only one that can create the YOU that you want to be. Go set some goals. Write down the goals. Get started now. Don’t wait.
This is YOUR life! Are you who you want to be? Really?
If you are like many HR Professionals, you may be wondering how to utilize this Social Media thing in your HR processes.
Where does Social Media fit in HR, which HR processes can be integrated with Social Media, and what in the world could it do for me and my organization?
Here are just a few ways you may incorporate Social Media into HR processes
Social Media for Recruiting:
While some Social Media platforms are quite known for their recruiting/jobs/sourcing capabilities, don’t sell the other platforms short. Facebook, for instance may be the place where you share your vacation pictures or catch up with your old high-school alumni, but it can be a powerful source to quickly and easily ask the people you trust most if they know anyone that fits your current recruiting needs.
If you are looking for highly talented individuals that are not only good at what they do, but also passionate enough about it to share their knowledge with others, you may look to almost all of the Social Media platforms to supplement your regular HR Recruiting processes: LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter all have people chattering 24/7 about the things they love… and not only that but they also self-identify themselves by interest, organizations they like, organizations they work for, etc.
Building on the bullet point above, go to the video sharing sites for real experts. Youtube and Vimeo, for instance are full of individuals not only sharing videos of cats puking (ewweee…, I know, but its true), but if you are looking for an expert on computer programming, biology, math, engineering, janitorial services, etc, etc, etc… I’m certain you can find not only a person posting videos, but whole list of your potential employees commenting and adding value.
Ok, so now you’ve received a few resumes… lets go google-stalking 🙂 Simply start googling and facebook searching for the candiate’s name, email address, username, etc… If you find that your top candidate is doing keg-stands every night of the week, and constantly posting statuses that indicate they hate their job, are tired, have an aweful boss, etc… it may be time to move on to the next.
Social Media for Community and Fan Building
Many Organizations and HR departments are afraid to build communities (and fans) on Facebook, LinkedIn or other Social Media platforms…. They are afraid of showing a bad image, public bashing of the organization, inappropriate language, etc. BUT, the reality, if you do it right you don’t need to be afraid. Just develop an HR Policy on Social Media and then encourage your employees to participate.
Your Fans and your employees can interact, sharing ideas and making connections that grow and extend way beyond the pushing of the “Like” button. You simply cannot do better than having employees and/or fans talking about you in a good light and spreading the word for you.
“But Shane, what about those negative comments?” Well, first off, I would simply say that if people are leaving negative comments there is a reason for it and the negative comment isn’t actually the problem… the problem is the problem. Really! And in fact, these people are doing you a favor by giving you real world feedback that if you want to succeed, you should listen to.
“But Shane, some people are truly just rude….” Yep, they are. And for those people we have a thing called moderation. Just delete those comments if they get too offensive, personal, or are simply just meant to attack for no purpose but to hurt. OR… better yet, take the opportunity to address every negative comment and let the whole world know that you are listening, responding appropriately, and when appropriate you recognize an issue or a wrong doing and are taking corrective action.
Build a great organization. Encourage and listen to feedback from fans and non-fans, employees and non-employees… and then make corrections. Then, repeat!
Social Media for Customer Training and Collaboration
Organizations and HR departments could wish for no better platform to train customers, receive feedback, and work together with your customers to build the next version of whatever you do whether that is a product or a service.
Hold contests for the best video, blog post, status update, etc… and then invite users to vote and spread the word… Again, can y0u say “free PR”?
I hope this gets you thinking about ways to incorporate Social Media into your organizational leadership and HR processes. I certainly have more ideas, but this post is getting long and I want to hear from you… Please leave a comment.
I decided to review Elegant Themes WordPress Themes because I use them so much and recommend them all the time to friends, coaching clients, and other folks interested in keeping a blog or building a website for business or fun. I’ll just tell you now, that this Elegant Themes Review will be telling you how these Wordpress Themes are fantastic. I just don’t see any negatives in joining Elegant Themes.
The best thing about joining the Elegant Themes WordPress Theme “club” is that you get access to an ever growing and improved set of themes. Nick actually improves all of his themes all the time. If you downloaded a them in the past, but notice that one of the new themes has a feature or capability that you think you want… no fear, Nick will almost certainly bring that feature to the older themes with an update in the very near future. I know, I know… this sounds like he might have paid me to write this review of Elegant Themes… He didn’t, I’m just a huge fan.
Another thing I really like is the fact that that these themes can be used for blogs (of course), but they can also be used for regular websites, or professional business websites. Many of them come with option of not looking too bloggy, if that’s even a word :). I’m always looking for WordPress Themes that don’t look too much like a blog, but instead can be used for professional business websites.
There are so many options for the use of these themes that its crazy… I used them in many different niche websites that I build or manage. And, of course, if I need to customize these themes, no problem. They are built so nicely that some customization can now take place in the actual admin area of the theme itself… Elegant Themes have built in what they call the “epanel”… which is basically just a boatload of options built into the WordPress Admin area for the theme options. The page, post, front page, and widget options are numerous and helpful!
Lastly, once you become a member… you get access to the forum. Each Elegant Theme has its own board and where you can discuss or showcase or get support for each WordPress Theme. I have even asked for help customizing, and Elegant Themes will actually just upload a new version of the code for me… This wasn’t expected, or asked for… they just did it. That is awesome! Now, they aren’t going to customize the crap out of your sites for you and you should’nt expect this either… but I can say that they do go above and beyond… big time!
Well, I can honestly say that I hope you end up joining the club… because I know you’ll be satisfied… it will surely be the best 20 bucks you have spent on WordPress in a long time!
Best of luck! I hope this review of Elegant Themes and their WordPress Themes has been helpful! Once you join, let me know what you think… leave a comment.
Its amazing to me what we as humans can do when we put our heads together. I know this is just a simple, silly little video lip synching… but I believe it is these moments (especially when you can put yourself on the internet for all to see) that really make memories. I find it motivating and inspiring when regular people work together (without even being paid for it), even if it is just for entertainment and fun.