Would you like to know how to be more confident? Of course you would… you are here right? At times, we all lack confidence, get scared, feel overwhelmed, and perhaps do not believe in ourselves. But there is good news! Confidence is one of those things that is completely under your control!
How to Be More Confident In 3 Simple Steps:
1. Realize that you have everything you need. I’m going to assume here that you aren’t trying to be confident that you can do something impossible for yourself… (for example, I would never tell you that you should have the confidence to jump off of a building and suddenly be able to fly… duh). Most people need to be more confident because they simply do not know how to believe in themselves. They just don’t believe they are fully equipped with the means to do whatever it is that they are seeking to accomplish. So, you first have to realize that you DO have everything you need.
For example, let’s say you lack the confidence to approach women. Do you not have legs? (ok, I know… some people actually don’t, but I’m sure you have a chair, or a phone, or someone to carry you?) Do you not have a tongue? Can you not speak? Is there someone holding you back from going (I mean physically)?
Yep, you are fully equipped to approach women. Oh… you want better communication skills? or you think you aren’t good looking enough? or maybe your job sucks? or maybe your clothes cheap? or maybe you have bad breath? or maybe you aren’t funny? Where does it end? You can keep these stories and excuses going all day, but I can tell you now that, while you may need to work on your communication skills or brush your teeth, you definitely have everything you need. Just stop making excuses and get over there and do it!
Oh and before you say, “I don’t have everything I need… I need a car to get to the bar to meet women”… or “I need more money so that I can buy her a drink if I talk to her”… or… Well then, confidence isn’t your problem… you just need to get a car or get a job, or whatever… Or hell, just change your plan, ride your bike there, take a cab, ride with a friend, and don’t buy her a drink… ask her to buy you one! Do that and you know you’re more confident! In other words, you don’t need to know how to be more confident, you need to know how to buy a car, or ride a bike, or get yourself some cheesy pickup lines. But confidence, isn’t your problem, having excuses is your problem.
2. Reject Rejection, It’s A Myth Anyway. Rejection very commonly comes up when talking to people about the root of their confidence problems. You need to realize that rejection is crap. It doesn’t really exist… forget about it, just decide to reject rejection… 🙂 It’s a myth anyway, so don’t believe in rejection. You just said, “huh, a myth…?” Yes, that’s what I said… a myth. If you want to be more confident, you need to know how to reject rejection.
Think about it this way: If you ask your boss for a day off and she says no, then you simply have exactly what you had before… you still have to work on Thursday. If you ask someone to go on a date and they say no, then you still get to stay home and play on the PlayStation on Saturday (unless you take advice in the next steps, and just keep asking).
Why get all bent out of shape about not having what you already didn’t have? Oh, your boss might think you are a slacker or rude, or ??? Maybe, but if you keep sitting around NOT asking, you’ll never know and you’ll definitely not get what you want. In fact, they might even think you are assertive, or that you take care of yourself, or that you are confident 🙂 … all good traits don’t you think?
So, forget about rejection… it doesn’t really exist. Forget it happened and move on…
3. Practice builds confidence. You probably already know this, but if you practice something you get better, right? So, practice doing whatever it is that is making you feel less than confident. Really? Is it that simple? Of course it is. Confidence is a mind game, not a physical task. Confidence is under your control. If you want to be more confident, you simply… well, have more confidence. 🙂 OK, I know its not quite that simple, is it? But its close.
One way to build more confidence is to practice. Not only the activity that you want to have more confidence in, but in reality you just need to practice… well, being more confident. Does that even make sense? Yes, I think it does. So, when you get nervous or anxious about asking for a day off, or for someone’s phone number, or for a raise, or about meeting new people, etc, etc… Just remember to do it anyway… and you’ll probably be rejected sometimes (but since rejection doesn’t really exist… 🙂 ), but every single time you try something new, or something you are less than confident about doing, you’ll be creating a healthier more confident you.
So, in summary… You DO have what you need, rejection doesn’t really exist (neither does failure, but that’s another story we’ll get to later), and the more you practice the more confident you’ll be, and the more successes you’ll experience. So, get out there and do something you’ve been afraid of until now. Just do it… OH>>> and please leave a comment below (let me know what you lack confidence in, if you tried what I said, if it makes sense, or if you think I’m full of crap, just let me know that too (I’m not afraid of rejection 🙂 ).